Now Again

November 9, 1987: It's now what time and I dread it. It's time to think about what I will do, what I can do. If anything were to happen to my Tia I'd be scared to go on here in Argentina. But going back to San Francisco is not going to be easy either. These decisions are something I hate to make. I don't like them because the risks are too great.

Day of the Dead

November 1, 1987: Today is the Dia de Todos los Muertos in Argentina and my Tia is so depressed that she won't even go either to the church or the cemetery to lay flowers on my uncle's grave. Going to the cementerio de la Chacarita used to be a half-festive occasion. After our respects were paid, we'd go to the pizzeria across the street. That was just about the only time that I saw my Tia smile and ready to eat. She enjoyed having someone serve her for a change, someone doing something nice for her. The waiter would treat her as if she were a relative, not a customer.

Myself Again

October 25, 1987: Who am I now? It's a question I dare not answer. I am not the Ani I was before this trip to Argentina and I am not the new me either. Certainly not the new me. I don't know who that new woman is. All I know is that I am changed and that Luis had a lot to do with it. No, I am not putting him on some sort of pedestal. I am speaking from the heart. The way my eyes were opened as regards sex, love and psychological involvement came about because I met him, because I loved him.

Surprise

October 17, 1987: The landlord wants us to move out. This is like history repeating itself, bad history. First it was Matilde, now the other person. Will this feeling of displacement ever end?