The Party

December 20, 1983: I got dressed after having a hard time deciding what to wear to the Pre Navidad parish party. My blue dress? The green one? Which one would look best on me? Had no idea, all the while pretending that this new interest in fashion had nothing to do with Luis. But I couldn´t fool myself for long, it had everything to do with him.I finally chose another dress, a light brown one, the least old ladyish of the lot.
Funny. When we saw him (and he was one of the last persons we talked to), I pretended to ignore him. He seemed like he wanted to say something to me, but I looked the other way. Can´t help it. That´s how I feel. It´s not that I´m ashamed of anything. I´m afraid of my feelings. Afraid of him and I don´t know why that is. The last thing Luis is is a monster or a demon.