Different Flags by Eugenia Renskoff

Different Flags, a book by Eugenia Renskoff, tells the story of 26-year-old Ani. Ani leaves her comfortable but stifling life in San Francisco to travel to Argentina to comfort her widowed Aunt Esther. Once back in her native country, Ani must face her unexpected feelings of love for Padre Luis, her aunt's young and handsome parish priest. Different Flags is a study of Ani's inner conflict.

My Photo
Name:
Location: New York, New York, United States

I am a writer, translator and teacher of Spanish and English to foreign students. I have been writing since I was six. I love to express myself through words. I have also traveled widely.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Call

September 29, 1984: I think I´m excited over my first phone call from a man(other than Luis) because it came after a real date! It was great talking with David, as if he were a friend.His questions I really didn´t care for (most of them), but that´s ok. I have a new experience and I feel normal--sort of part of the women´s group.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Report

September 27, 1984: It was very confusing, the date with my neighbor. I was asked about my accent again and I felt on the edge of this place--the edge of Argentina, as if I wasn´t here, but had to be here after all. Is this how I´m supposed to feel? How a woman, exile or not, feels on a first date?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Day After

September 24, 1984: It went quite well, if I do say so myself. David and I went out for pizza and Coca Cola. We just talked a lot. A nice distraction from thinking about my poor Tia and Luis all the time. Asked me for my phone number and I said: Ok. That´s fine.

Behave

September 23, 1984: It seems that I have been asked out on a date--my first date ever. I don´t know quite how to behave. Should I be interested even if I´m not? Listen more than talk or the other way around? What to wear? Something casual or in between? My wardrobe is not extensive and I´m sick of jeans, jeans all the time. Oh, yes. His name and who he is: He´s David, a neighbor in the building.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Amazing

September 20, 1984: I can´t believe it! My Tia says he wants to speak with Luis about me. It makes me feel that she cares and means well, but I don´t want her to do it. I´m not a little girl.I don´t want to be one, not anymore.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Chance

September 16, 1984: I have a chance to work somewhere all day, but maybe I will not be able to take it. It´s for a woman living in San Isidro, a really classy district near here. Her son is in publishing in New York. Ilove to write, but my Tia is not well enough for me to leave by herself.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Clear

September 15, 1984: It hit me like I don´t know what. Now I realize how lucky I am to be with my Tia, to be spending all this time with her. And how lucky I am to have fallen in love with Luis, in spite of how scary loving him feels.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Trouble

September 7, 1984: My Tia felt unwell today. She sat down, dropped everything she was doing in the kitchen. I asked her to go to the hospital. She refused. I will keep a closer eye on her. The last thing I want is to lose her.

Other Things

September 5, 1984: I know I have other things to worry about, but today I can´t help but remember how it was when I told Luis that I loved him. I can see his face, the look of surprise on his face after I spoke my little declaration, and I can feel again how I felt that day--it wasn´t long ago, but it seems to have happened in another century, another time long gone.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Enough!

September 3, 1984: Enough of bad news! News about my Tia, everything! I want good news, something pleasant to talk about, instead.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Name

September 1, 1984: To me, Luis is the best name in the world. The only name I care about. He´s the first man I have ever loved and Luis--saying it over and over again--is one of the most pleasant experiences I´ve ever had.

Out

August 29, 1984: I feel like an outsider, even here. It´s not a nice feeling, not by a long shot. They look at me funny. They don´t see me as a person who was born here, but lived elsewhere for many years. They just look at me as somebody who is out, a woman who doesn´t speak their language anymore.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The United States?

August 30, 1984: Maybe I will go back to the U.S, When it´s all over, I mean. Don´t know when that will be. I don´t want my Tia to die. I don´t want anything to happen to her, but if it does, I would feel lost in Argentina. There will not be anybody like Luis for me here. And I´d get these reminders that I don´t need or want.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Reality

August 28, 1984: I don´t go to church or Mass anymore. What´s the point if Luis will not be there to see? In San Vicente, he was the main, the only, attraction. I loved him and that´s why I seemed so religious, so devout. Pretending was the last thing that I´m ashamed of. I just wish that Luis could be for me.

Control

August 27, 1984: I hope I was in control of myself when Luis came to see my Tia today. I know his visit was not for me. As a matter of fact,I don´t care.He´s not for me and I´ll never forget him.
She brightened up after he left. Her eyes looked more alive and her cheeks were not pale anymore.For that, I´m grateful.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Call

August 30, 1984: I just swallowed hard and called him. Luis is coming to see my Tia on Friday and I will not be around. Trusting myself around him is impossible.

Actresses

August 28, 1984: My Tia and I ought to get paid for pretending to each other. Hollywood should hire us. That´s all we do all day--make believe that she´s fine, that nothing is really wrong with her. If I didn´t love Luis, I´d call him and ask him to come over and talk with her a little bit. After all,he was my uncle´s friend.

Close

August 28, 1984: Maybe I´m too close to my Tia to really help her. Maybe there should be me and someone else trying to make her feel better now that she´s got her heart trouble. All she has is me. Me here, and I don´t think that´s enough.