Time

April 26, 1986: I wish there were no such thing as missing a country,missing a way of life. I wish I could go back to the U.S.,at least for a short visit. But what about my Tia? I can´t abandon her to her fate. She´s had enough to put up with in her life.

Choked

April 23, 1986: I feel as if someone with very strong hands were choking me. It´s my life, that´s what it is. I am not satisfied with it at all. In between taking care of my Tia and teaching English, there is this great big stretch of time with almost nothing to do. I don´t want to think about Luis anymore. Being busy doing something, anything, would be helpful.To go on, but where? How do I know where I´m going?

Later

April 13, 1986: Exploring myself has lost its appeal, if it ever had one. Too many other things to think about, some less important, some more, but all necessary. Besides, I don´t think it´ll get me anywhere, anywhere fast, I mean.