Now

December 8, 1986: Now I don´t know. I really don´t. And I am lost again. Everything I was taught by my mother and father has turned out to be wrong. Does not work for me.

What?

December 7, 1986: What will I do when Navidad arrives? How will it be for my Tia and me? We won´t have anybody this year. I don´t think the neighbors in San Vicente will come to see us here in La Lucila. I don´t know why but spending this new Christmas with her scares me a little. I love her very much, but what if it´s the last one together?

Don´t Know

November 30, 1986: It is a new anniversary of my being here, and I still say I don´t know. A very sad statement because I feel that nothing has been accomplished. And something should have been accomplished by now. My Tia and I have been through a lot. A hellof a lot.

Luis

November 10, 1986: Luis has been transferred to another church. At least, that´s what the gossip ladies tell us. We still go from San Vicente and last time we were there, we heard that for some reason he had been switched well before March of 1987.

My Tia´s Health

November 7, 1986: Her health does not seem to get better and she doesn´t seem to know or care. That is the most difficult part of all. It´s hard for me to see it and it must be even harder for her to live with.